I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
