Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
