Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
