How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
