Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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