between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
