When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
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We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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