i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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