I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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