flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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