some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
