Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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