i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i think i just lost a toe
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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