I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
