but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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