yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
