Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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