i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
wow bdsm is so cute
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
