he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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