all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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