Barsexuality is the new black.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize