I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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