he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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