I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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