I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize