Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
