Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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