you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
