That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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