So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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