He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
