Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
