no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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