I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize