We're facebook friends in real life
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
