I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
