After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
