My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this just has baby written all over it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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