I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
