Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
