Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
