Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize