i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
