I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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