Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
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I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me