Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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