fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
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you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
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Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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