she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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