I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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