was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish they made helmets for livers.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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