its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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