Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
