well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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