I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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