No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
last night I used snow as a chaser
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