i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
