Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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