I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
