Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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